


december 14th: to tokyo

by watergator



Series: december fic advent 2018 [14]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, Holidays, M/M, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 07:52:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16991007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/pseuds/watergator
Summary: prompt: holidaysphil books japan





	december 14th: to tokyo

The tail end of 2014 seems to drag tiresomely. It hangs onto the very last of December, right up until the last second, and New Year’s is celebrated with tired bodies on the sofa snuggled up under a patchwork blanket and soft snores followed soon after.

2015 is a year of change. On the third day of the year, Dan books a doctor’s appointment. It’s only the third and his eyes already weigh heavy, dark bags underneath them. His face seems to be fixated into a sad, tired frown and on the fourth day he barely moves from under the lump he’s created out of covers and pillows in their bed.   
  
The sixth day is when Phil drags him out of bed with whines of protests and bubbling tears all the way from the front door to the taxi that drives him to the doctors. Where they sit in the waiting room with their coats pulled up tightly, a child picks up a pamphlet about sun cancer and holiday precautions and holds it up proudly to her mother with a babble, clearly too young to even understand the words in her hands, but proud of herself nonetheless. Her mother praises her with a coo, takes the paper from her hand and places it back down on the little table littered with educational leaflets. Phil picks it up a few minutes later and flicks through it, reading about medical insurance in different countries around the world.  
  
Eventually once Dan’s name is called, they both make way to their doctors office where they sit down in two blue plastic seats and once she asks Dan what’s wrong, it’s like he’s finally bursting. He rambles on and on about all the things they’d made lists about the night before, all of the things Dan’s tried to say before, and watching him do it now, despite through the tears and the way his hands wring around each other nervously, it feels good to finally see him actually tell someone other than him.  
  
Clinical depression is the diagnosis she gives. Phil isn’t shocked nor surprised. There’s no ‘ _I told you so’_ moments but they listen patiently as she describes to Dan the different routes of recovery he could consider taking. He nods his head twice, once when she asks,  
  
“Would you consider therapy?”  
  
And another time when she says,  
  
“And what about medication?”  
  
They leave the doctor’s office with three more leaflets. There’s a list of hotlines and phone numbers and websites and information that Phil will read over once they’re back home. Dan wastes no time reading them in the taxi home, even if it does make him a little queasy.  
  
It brings to where they are now. Dan’s up and early, he swallowed down his medication with the glass of water and biscuit Phil had left out for him and waved him off as he left the flat for the taxi that waited outside for him, ready to drive him to his therapists office for the morning.  
  
Days like these were quiet and often lonely, but knowing that Dan was out talking to somebody that could potentially make him better made it all the worthwhile.  
  
He sat down on the sofa with his coffee; he has time to kill and whilst he could probably be doing important emails and book stuff, he picks up the remote and switches on the tv.  
  
The screen springs to life with a picture of a middle aged couple talking to the presenter about their dream holiday home. They’re somewhere on the coast of Spain and they’re walking around a big villa with white walls and smiles all around.  
  
By the end of the programme the couple buy the property and the presenter congratulates them on their new home, ready for all the summers to come of fun spent there with their family.  
  
It makes Phil smile into his mug, reminding him of the holidays he’d spent with Dan, how nice it had been to just lay under the hot sun beside the man he loved and just relaxed together.  
  
Jamaica, Portugal, Italy; they’d all been so incredible. All fond memories of summers spent together.  
  
He can’t help the grin that spreads over his face. Then, he has an idea.  
  
By the time Dan comes back a couple hours later, flopping tiredly beside Phil on the sofa, Phil is already eight tabs deep into the internet.  
  
“Hey, what you doing?” Dan asks, kicking his shoes off onto the floor and tucking his legs up underneath him. He slumps towards Phil, who opens a free arm almost instinctively.  
  
“How was it?” Phil asks, peeling his eyes away from plane ticket prices and closing down the tab before Dan can look. But once he looks over at where Dan curls up beside him, he sees his eyes have begun to droop shut anyways.  
  
“Didn’t answer my question,” Dan mumbles sleepily. “But it was good. Really good, actually.”  
  
Just those words are enough to make Phil’s heart pick up speed in his chest. He knows therapy and medication isn’t some sort of cure or magic spell to make the worst days go away, but seeing it do it’s little part in helping him get there is good enough.  
  
“Yeah?” he whispers, and goes back to the website he’d previously been scrolling through. He could do it now. He could hover his mouse over the button, click with the tap of his finger and it’d be done.  
  
But instead he speaks up softly in the silence that’s now surrounded the room.  
  
“I was watching that home hunting show whilst you were gone. The one where they buy holiday homes,” Phil tells him and Dan hums along with a smile.  
  
“Yeah?”   
  
Phil hums back. “Mmm. They had a lovely villa in Spain,” he speaks gently. “Dan? If you had to have a holiday home somewhere, where would you go?” he asks.  
  
Dan is quiet for a while before Phil feels him shrug with a grunt. “Dunno. Where’s a place you’d wanna go to?”  
  
Phil feels the flurry of butterflies in his chest. “Tokyo. That’s the place I’d wanna be, wouldn’t you?”  
  
Dan snorts a laugh and snuggles in closer. “I don’t think people generally buy holiday homes in Japan, Phil,” he laughs softly.  
  
Phil laughs back and clicks on the little calendar beside the prices. He hovers over April.  
  
“Okay. What about a holiday then?” he asks.  
  
Dan sits up a little, eyes still closed. “A holiday?”   
  
Phil nods. “Yeah. A holiday to Japan.”  
  
Dan nods, his nose nuzzling against Phil’s ribs now. “That’d be nice, yeah.”  
  
It’s all it takes. It’s all it takes for Phil to click the plane tickets in a quick moment of madness. He watches his card details fill out on the screen before him and it’s done.  
  
He’s booked two plane tickets to Japan. His heart thumps in his chest and his mouth runs dry, all with the mixture of fear and anticipation swirling inside of him. But he swallows it down quick and says,  
  
“Good. Because we’re going.”  
  
Dan sits up now, so fast he nearly knocks head with Phil in the process. His eyes are wide, tired still, but looking over at Phil with uncertainty.   
  
Phil can’t suppress the giggle that escapes his lips. “I booked Japan. Don’t be mad.”  
  
Dan’s expression melts almost instantly with a loud laugh, his voice cracking as tears spring to his eyes.   
  
“You’re fucking crazy,” he laughs, blinking big fat tears down his cheeks. “You’re crazy. Why’d you do that?”  
  
Phil shrugs, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “Wanted a holiday with you,” he smiles.  
  
Dan smiles back, before tipping his head back and laughing again, so loud is echo’s around the room.  
  
“You’re crazy, Phil Lester.”  
  
Phil laughs and pulls him forward again.  
  
“I can’t believe you booked Japan,” Dan laughs, voice muffled from the way his face is buried in Phil’s side again.  
  
Phil grins happily and looks over at the tickets he’s secured. They’ll fill in passport information and look at hotel rooms tonight over a flute of champagne, but for now he basks in the delight of a confirmation email and Dan curled up happily by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr !! @watergator


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